In this wonderful and complicated world of relationships and love, we hear so many cultural voices that claim love is sex or sex is love. Or that sex is simply a physical act. Confused thinking leads to confused action. We want to provide clarity and wisdom around this complicated and exciting topic. 

There is a type of love that seems to transcend this world. It’s called agape. It is an others-centered love that has service at the core. It is the opposite of selfish. It doesn’t change with circumstances. This chapter has agape love as its anchor. It’s rooted in the idea of doing what is best for another.

Imagine what it would be like to have a friend who treats you this way, or to have a date that seeks your good gifts, not his or her own. Imagine what it would be like to become engaged to such a person and to marry with this kind of love at the center of your relationship. You would find yourself treated with kindness, devotion and respect. You would be encouraged to become all you can be, to become your best self. And imagine if you cared for others this way–your life would be different. You would see others succeed and prosper. And this is the ironic secret to life–this is when you are most fulfilled. But this type of love is not cheap. It comes at a significant cost.

Is sex good? Yes! It’s actually more than good. It’s great! When it is based in agape. When it is enjoyed under the right parameters within the confines of marriage.

In the movie “Spider-Man 2,” Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben tells him, “You’ve been given a gift, Peter. With great power comes great responsibility.” God has given us all a gift–the gift of sexuality. This gift is the ultimate expression of intimacy and love. It’s meant to be enjoyed, to be fun. It’s powerful. It can even create a new life. But the greater potential something has for good, the greater its potential for abuse outside its intended use. 

Sex is like fire. Fire has incredible power for good. People can warm themselves by it, and fire gives light and enables one to cook. When it’s utilized under the right parameters with the right boundaries, it can keep someone alive. But fire also has an incredibly destructive power. 

Have you ever seen an out-of-control forest fire? A friend of mine saw his house burn to the ground. Everything he and his family owned was turned to ashes. If you asked him about the fire at the time, he would’ve told you he hated it. It ruined his life.

Sex functions in the same way. It can be tremendous, but it can also be destructive when not enjoyed under the right circumstance. As sex experts Joe McIlhaney and Freda Bush say in their book “Hooked,” “When sex is experienced in healthy ways, it adds great value and satisfaction to life, but when experienced in unhealthy ways, at the wrong time, can damage vital aspects of who we are as human beings.”

Adulting (verb): To do grown-up things and have responsibilities such as a working full time, paying rent or owning a car.

Basic life skills go mostly untaught in classrooms, so graduates are on their own to figure out how to live successfully in the world. Without any guidance, where do you start? “Adulting 101” is a clever, practical and timely guide to show how to:

• Find a job and be wildly successful at work
• Buy the items you need as an adult (apartment, car, insurance)
• Set goals, prioritize and get work done
• Communicate professionally and effectively
• Save and invest wisely
• Navigate personal and professional relationships
• Avoid the common mistakes of being out on your own
• And much, much more